I left my house this morning in confusion and anger, about a life
that has become greater in my mind, than who I am. Looming in illusion,
unable to crack the barrier between love, and that of strife.
It was a dreary and cloudy day when I walked the path
on dew wet grass leading into the forest. Pushing ferns,
I brushed aside pine branches, crushing small pine cones, as I passed.
Entering a small clearing, I sat on a freshly cut stump
of a rather large oak tree. My mind, frantic and racing in frenzy
I heard a faint thud, and then, a very pronounced thump.
Quickly looking around and finding nothing, I put my head in my hands
placing my elbows on my knees. I suddenly noticed a small brass bell quivering below me.
I kicked it aside thoughtlessly across the flat ground into a divot of sand.
As quickly as I had kicked it, it rolled back with a thump at my feet.
“Good morning kind sir.” I heard in a hollow tone. Startled I looked around
to see who was approaching me.
There was no one to be found.
“Excuse me, good sir!” I heard again,
Clearly thinking I was losing my mind, hearing voices I could not see.
“Ahem, gracious sir, I am, at your feet!”
I looked down and saw the small brass bell speak.
I immediately said a small prayer and blessed myself
saying a rushed good-bye to the mind I had
and hoped, somewhere along the line,
in time, we again, this brain and I will meet.
Having totally lost all common sense, I replied with a smile,
“And a good morning to you too, and may I ask,
what in heaven’s name are you doing here by yourself?”
“I have lost my clanger and without a sound
I have been thrown away…
unable to be found.
I heard you coming, but, my first impression was disappointment;
to see you so much taller and bigger than I;
you look like a bonger and a banger,
and I am much too small for that!”
“Regardless,” I said with a smile, as I picked up the small bell,
“you can stay in my pocket and perhaps, I can try, who can tell.”
Bell in pocket, I silently turned and walked away.
The sun began to shine and my path opened wide.
Ever since that morning I seemed to have escaped that illusion
of being bigger and taller or even smaller than I am.
In fact, I am feeling like nothing at all!
With the small bell in my pocket
without the sound of clamor, humbled and silenced
quiet and comfortable… peace with myself
in love without confusion or anger
as that empty bell without a clanger.