I watched shades of darkening gray and bright white.
I lowered my head— pulled up my collar,
Mumbling on your star tonight.
“Wish I may, wish I might, that the path I follow—
Though dimly illumed—widen on this narrow—
Crescent moonlit night”.
II
On the darkest night –walking into the valley –with a crescent moon,
I found a star shining brightly in between the looming black stands—
Tall forest oaks, leaning birches, leafless maple trees and commanding pines.
– Mind, menaced by the dark– I kept walking alongside starlight sparkling between the trees. Flickering—glittering— decreasing my speed until I had to stop.
I stood still—looking up, I recited, “wish i may, wish i might, wish on the first star i see tonight”. Without wishing for anything and without thinking— I went home to sleep in my own bed –
i was comparing the 2 verses..and i couldn’t make up my mind which one was better.
there’s so much more imagery in the haibun, but the set of haiku is indeed very elegant.
the stars, and a walk in the night, can give so much calm to a person. 🙂
I like the way these two parts complement each other…..and the feeling that you got your wish in the morning sunlight without even having consciously realized you were making a wish in the starlight!
Sometimes in my darkest moments, I look toward the dark sky, and ponder the moon….but it is the stars dancing and twinkling that give me a kind of hope or relief….seeing them and that first star is magical….just like these 2 beautiful poems….
‘Mind, menaced by the dark– I kept walking alongside starlight sparkling between the trees. Flickering—glittering— decreasing my speed until I had to stop.’
“Mind, menaced by the dark– I kept walking alongside starlight sparkling between the trees.” What a lovely line this is. I like the idea of wishes being realized even without wishing.
“Tall forest oaks, leaning birches, leafless maple trees and commanding pines.” I especially like these words. You’ve described this section of the forest by differentiating the look and also personality of the trees and this particular time of year. I imagine that in full summer the maple tree might seem quite different among these four.
Those familiar words — so many times they pop into our heads at that opportune time – and you’re right. We don’t really make a wish but we say the words. I imagine that somewhere on this earth, actually many places on this earth, there are people looking up at those same stars who make wishes on them — maybe not with that age-old sing songy way — but real wishes. For a bed, for food. We are too glib are we not when we do that old childhood song. Maybe we should have a “song” of simple thanks that we utter looking up at the stars.
Ah — you got me thinking here……..the sign of words penned very well! 🙂
Happy Friday to you!
A friend of mine recently wrote a poem that included something like, “Deep down, what I secretly wish for is what I already have.” That sentiment … but prettier. 🙂
I loved reading this aloud and each time I would so read it (three times so far) , it gained more comfort and rhythm … it has made me look out my window every time too, to stare and wonder at how soft the shine is of the drag belly Moon spilling herself into a ready to explode April upstate NY landscape …
I love the calming tone of this piece, the way it reads like a dream and a chant holding hands… There is a sort of serenity to be found in wishing, while not really expecting anything.
i’ve always loved the idea of wishing on a star, and this poem is such a beautifully done, more serious piece that illustrates a perhaps jaded adult still finding some hope or encouragement in this childish action, or indulging in fancy.
It’s beautiful, as I find myself, thinking, of those nights, I can see the stars, through the light pollution, of southern Ontario. I have a memory, as a young child, looking out my parents car and seeing the wondrous display of the northern stars, while driving home, from my opa and oma place. Thank you, for bringing back, this memory, for me.
Sean Michael
April 25, 2016 at 12:42 pm
Sometimes I look at the stars, and I hope the universe knows what I need, because I don’t always.
LikeLiked by 1 person
petrujviljoen
April 20, 2016 at 5:14 am
Your comment ZQ: ‘yes! Awake …’ – gone a bit silent here.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Patti
April 19, 2016 at 2:02 pm
Beautiful. Wishing on a star is magical.
LikeLiked by 1 person
ZQ
April 18, 2016 at 6:23 pm
yes! Awake…
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Jamztoma
April 18, 2016 at 6:09 pm
Hi ZQ, that’s a fine way to waking up….your wish you made the night before coming true in front of your eyes. Great story! applause!!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Preeti S.
April 18, 2016 at 12:23 pm
This is beautiful. I’d love to have a similar experience in real life. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
dsnake1
April 18, 2016 at 11:38 am
i was comparing the 2 verses..and i couldn’t make up my mind which one was better.
there’s so much more imagery in the haibun, but the set of haiku is indeed very elegant.
the stars, and a walk in the night, can give so much calm to a person. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
gillena
April 18, 2016 at 8:23 am
I just finished viewing Julio Iglesias video Starry starry night. Luv that song and enjoyed your starry write
Thanks for dropping by by Sunday Lime
Much love…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Rosemary Nissen-Wade
April 18, 2016 at 4:05 am
Each section beautifully told.
LikeLiked by 1 person
1sojournal
April 18, 2016 at 12:02 am
An evening star to wish upon, or not. Wonderfully woven,
Elizabeth
http://soulsmusic.wordpress.com
LikeLiked by 1 person
Luk Lei
April 17, 2016 at 11:19 pm
Great visual presence, but loved the way, part 2 ended. With out a wish, it seemed as if all is well regardless.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sumana Roy
April 17, 2016 at 10:51 pm
a most beautiful experience…walking through dream as it were and then being open to the burst of light….
LikeLiked by 1 person
C.C.
April 17, 2016 at 7:11 pm
I like the way these two parts complement each other…..and the feeling that you got your wish in the morning sunlight without even having consciously realized you were making a wish in the starlight!
LikeLiked by 1 person
humbird
April 17, 2016 at 5:46 pm
This wishing sounds really magical…as affirmation for good night sleep…very nice reflection, ZQ.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Mary
April 17, 2016 at 2:16 pm
Beautifully atmospheric, ZQ. So many sights and sounds..love hearing the sound of the wind.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sherry Marr
April 17, 2016 at 12:56 pm
What a beautiful haibun. You took me into that dark night among the trees. Very lovely writing.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Donna@Living From Happiness
April 17, 2016 at 11:32 am
Sometimes in my darkest moments, I look toward the dark sky, and ponder the moon….but it is the stars dancing and twinkling that give me a kind of hope or relief….seeing them and that first star is magical….just like these 2 beautiful poems….
‘Mind, menaced by the dark– I kept walking alongside starlight sparkling between the trees. Flickering—glittering— decreasing my speed until I had to stop.’
LikeLiked by 1 person
mishunderstood
April 16, 2016 at 2:44 pm
“Mind, menaced by the dark– I kept walking alongside starlight sparkling between the trees.” What a lovely line this is. I like the idea of wishes being realized even without wishing.
LikeLiked by 1 person
kaykuala (@hankkaykuala)
April 16, 2016 at 7:38 am
A twinkling star is most soothing! Not surprising its memory lingers till morning!
Hank
LikeLiked by 1 person
Jennifer Wagner
April 15, 2016 at 1:23 pm
I like how the star essentially lead you home and put you to bed–and another woke you with warm and reassuring light. Quite peaceful.
LikeLiked by 1 person
lillian
April 15, 2016 at 10:07 am
“Tall forest oaks, leaning birches, leafless maple trees and commanding pines.” I especially like these words. You’ve described this section of the forest by differentiating the look and also personality of the trees and this particular time of year. I imagine that in full summer the maple tree might seem quite different among these four.
Those familiar words — so many times they pop into our heads at that opportune time – and you’re right. We don’t really make a wish but we say the words. I imagine that somewhere on this earth, actually many places on this earth, there are people looking up at those same stars who make wishes on them — maybe not with that age-old sing songy way — but real wishes. For a bed, for food. We are too glib are we not when we do that old childhood song. Maybe we should have a “song” of simple thanks that we utter looking up at the stars.
Ah — you got me thinking here……..the sign of words penned very well! 🙂
Happy Friday to you!
LikeLiked by 1 person
She
April 15, 2016 at 8:51 am
Man, what a great message. Love the haiku.
A friend of mine recently wrote a poem that included something like, “Deep down, what I secretly wish for is what I already have.” That sentiment … but prettier. 🙂
LikeLike
thotpurge
April 14, 2016 at 9:57 pm
What a lovely wish..that the path widen in the crescent moonlight.. beautiful.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Edward Rinaldi (@blindedbeatpoet)
April 14, 2016 at 9:51 pm
I loved reading this aloud and each time I would so read it (three times so far) , it gained more comfort and rhythm … it has made me look out my window every time too, to stare and wonder at how soft the shine is of the drag belly Moon spilling herself into a ready to explode April upstate NY landscape …
LikeLiked by 1 person
kanzensakura
April 14, 2016 at 9:46 pm
Saying the chant over and over, like a prayer. Sometimes you have to just throw it to the wind and let it be what it will be.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Pleasant Street
April 14, 2016 at 9:18 pm
A walk under your stars and through your trees, refreshing
LikeLiked by 1 person
Magaly Guerrero
April 14, 2016 at 9:08 pm
I love the calming tone of this piece, the way it reads like a dream and a chant holding hands… There is a sort of serenity to be found in wishing, while not really expecting anything.
LikeLiked by 1 person
mtw
April 14, 2016 at 8:33 pm
i’ve always loved the idea of wishing on a star, and this poem is such a beautifully done, more serious piece that illustrates a perhaps jaded adult still finding some hope or encouragement in this childish action, or indulging in fancy.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Grace
April 14, 2016 at 8:12 pm
I like the wishing at night, like a lullaby for a good night’s sleep ~
LikeLiked by 1 person
therisa
April 14, 2016 at 7:19 pm
It’s beautiful, as I find myself, thinking, of those nights, I can see the stars, through the light pollution, of southern Ontario. I have a memory, as a young child, looking out my parents car and seeing the wondrous display of the northern stars, while driving home, from my opa and oma place. Thank you, for bringing back, this memory, for me.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sanaa Rizvi
April 14, 2016 at 7:14 pm
I watched shades of darkening gray and bright white… sigh.. lovely!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Björn Rudberg (brudberg)
April 14, 2016 at 4:56 pm
I love to be able to see that star.. the brightness of the light… A wonderful star filled night
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