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Blameless Hurried Follies

22 Mar

Sins and whims follow swift currents.

            (errors in delight move faster than light)

Skipper and passenger, in myriad murmurs,

            (Mind and heart argue and fight)

blame the sinking of the soul, in all events,

            (each acknowledging neither is right)

On their leaning, to close to the brim.

            (capsizing the balance of each other’s sight)

 

Their voyage unable to transcend the peak of the waves,

            (oh, but their argument will not let them sleep)

float to the bottom in lifeless bubbles;

            (with promises and assurances unable to keep)

seeking passage without having to pay.

            (Feeling blameless, wolf’s victim as sheep)

For neither the price, nor for the rescue or salvage.

               (follies, human salvation, shallow as deep)

****

“…Let us, then, be up and doing,
With a heart for any fate;
Still achieving, still pursuing,
Learn to labor and to wait.” 

A Psalm of life

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

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21 responses to “Blameless Hurried Follies

  1. glmeisner

    March 25, 2015 at 8:47 am

    The last line is very well written a strong ending. I liked the poem.

    Like

     
  2. Hannah Gosselin

    March 24, 2015 at 4:53 pm

    Thoughtful and thought-provoking – I like the way you used the parenthesis in this poem. Excellent work!

    Like

     
  3. C.C.

    March 24, 2015 at 8:23 am

    This has such a lyrical feel to it….I think it would make an excellent spoken poem!

    Like

     
  4. dani

    March 23, 2015 at 9:59 am

    yes, the form does work well with the words ~ quite striking!

    Like

     
  5. Kerry O'Connor

    March 23, 2015 at 9:54 am

    This is quite a unique form. I really like the way the parenthetical elements add depth to the overall reading experience.

    Like

     
  6. Grace

    March 22, 2015 at 8:17 pm

    Food for thought ~ Thanks, ZQ ~

    Like

     
  7. 1sojournal

    March 22, 2015 at 7:49 pm

    Love this back and forth play of words and lines. I’ve had many similar internal conversations.

    Elizabeth

    https://soulsmusic.wordpress.com/2015/03/22/the-other-i-am/

    Like

     
  8. Poppy

    March 22, 2015 at 5:57 pm

    ‘each acknowledging neither is right’

    Sometimes the only thing left to do is to agree to disagree. This, alone, an be freeing.

    Intriguing words; I enjoyed the analysis.

    Poppy

    Like

     
  9. Loredana Donovan

    March 22, 2015 at 5:39 pm

    sometimes the mind & heart do argue & fight ~ and one has to decide which is best to follow ~ that’s a good line. 🙂

    Like

     
  10. Torie

    March 22, 2015 at 5:27 pm

    ‘each acknowledging neither is right’, holding on to an argument afraid for what my or may not come after. Loved your form, ZQ 🙂 I hope balance will be found!

    Like

     
  11. peggygoetz

    March 22, 2015 at 5:22 pm

    I like they way you did this with the the alternating lines. Thanks for posting this.

    Like

     
  12. Sanaa

    March 22, 2015 at 4:39 pm

    A true masterpiece! Remarkable work 😀

    Like

     
  13. sláRueb

    March 22, 2015 at 3:55 pm

    Sometimes the argument outweighs the matter at hand leaving no winners.

    Like

     
  14. ManicDdaily

    March 22, 2015 at 3:54 pm

    A lot of cool sound here in yet a very thoughtful poem, ZQ. You are right about sins and whims ! And so many ways people fall into suffering. The Longfellow is also interesting. Thanks. K.

    Like

     
  15. Donna@Living From Happiness

    March 22, 2015 at 3:50 pm

    I also liked the poem within a poem…the conversation as if with our inner self….a sad tale when there is neither the rescue or the salvage.

    Like

     
  16. zongrik

    March 22, 2015 at 2:53 pm

    i like capsizing the balance best

    Evaporate until you Lenticulate

    Like

     
  17. Sherry Marr

    March 22, 2015 at 1:47 pm

    Very masterfully written, my friend. I love how the lines are woven, so one can read the bold lines as one poem and the italicized as a response. Very clever. I do hope that sinking soul can get up and over the lip of the wave.

    Like

     
  18. Sumana Roy

    March 22, 2015 at 12:25 pm

    “(Mind and heart argue and fight)”…best to go with the heart…

    Like

     
  19. Björn Rudberg (brudberg)

    March 22, 2015 at 10:37 am

    Somehow I can see this as scene where two persons fail to comprehend each other.. When the argument is being kept alive just for the sake of it.

    Like

     
  20. dsnake1

    March 22, 2015 at 10:28 am

    “errors in delight move faster than light” >hmm, good things seem to pass quickly though.
    sound a bit like the Titanic, but that’s me. 🙂
    loved that verse by Longfellow. .

    Like

     
  21. Mary

    March 22, 2015 at 8:55 am

    This is a bit dark today, ZQ. Hope all is well! I did like the arrangement of the lines in your poem…made me think about the message.

    Like

     

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